Back in the USA groove...thought I'd post my China photos.

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I'm back from China, Japan and LA. I was so relieved to get back on my scale and see I'd lost six pounds since I left! I really can't wait to get back to my routine--getting in the protein and water and exercise and vitamins, just like normal. I'm also pretty excited about going to my next support group meeting--I missed my first one ever because of my China trip.

I've finally lost 50% of my excess weight--so I'm on the downhill side of the weight loss mountain! I'm also just 17.5 pounds from -100, which I aim to hit by Halloween.

I went to Old Navy in LA this weekend and was able to buy a few things in a size 20W and XXL--I've never been a 20W regularly--I've hit a few times for a few months at the end of a Weight Watchers dieting spree, so hitting 20 and continuing to lose will be a big transition from old weight loss to new weight loss.

I'm pretty sure that I am going to look into therapy--I've heard more and more people talk about the psychological difficulties of food addiction and weight loss--and I really want this to be successful. If this means I need to build mental muscles against unhealthy eating and gain new emotional outlets, then that's the next step! I don't want this to be a temporary thing!

Just so it's out there--I turn 30 in 324 days. I've been thinking hard about what goals I want to have accomplished by then. I thing that I've decided to make as my goal--I want to spend my 30th birthday in Australia with my boyfriend. A) I've always wanted to travel to Australia (since High School or earlier even) and I've never seriously planned a trip. B) I don't have a boyfriend, but I am sick of waiting!! This is a really serious goal because it requires me to get out there and really make an effort to start dating and find someone that I like enough to want to take a really big trip with! Also, finding the time/money to go to Australia is going to take some real dedication. I'm committed, though, and I have almost a full year to make it happen--considering what has happened already in these last FOUR months, this should be easy-breezy, right? ;)

Ni Hao from China!

I've been in China since last Tuesday, with another week (or more?) to go. I was really nervous about being able to handle this surgery in a new country with new foods and new social/cultural issues. So far, I figure I've been successful. I had to have a talk with my host (I'm in China for business) and tell him I am on a "diet" and I can't eat certain things or a lot of anything. I didn't share about my surgery because I haven't shared that with my home office in the U.S.! I think the hardest things are the same as if I didn't have WLS--trying new, icky (to us in the U.S.) foods. Chinese meat is usually like chunks of chicken or pork or fish with the bones and everything. People just chew around the bones and spit everything back out on their plates (which is also a little gross!). Then there is the eels, frogs, turtles and other "delicacies" on the table! I've done pretty good for the most part, although I've had some stomach issues the last few days--maybe from eating fresh fruit? Anyway, just wanted to leave a quick note here about how it's going. :)

Why is it that sometimes losing 75 pounds seems so awesome and whoo-hoo and look at all the new clothes I fit into and don't I look so much better and it's so much easier to (walk up stairs, keep up with kids, teach standing up, etc)...and other days? It's like all suck. I can only focus on my pooch (not pouch--my pooch--were my stomach is all bubbling out of my clothes) and how dis.gust.ing it is and how I still have a double chin and still have over 50% of my excess weight to lose and wahh!

Today is one of those not-so-positive days. AND don't even start about PMS!! I hate it when every little b*tchy mood I get into is turned into, ohh, somebody's PMSing today, huh, nudge, nudge, wink wink. I just sputter back because I am using every available brain cell to resist the urge to inflict grevious bodily harm. GREVIOUS, I tell you!!!

And, SO WHAT IF I AM PMSING??? Huh? Is this a freaking crime? I mean, did I ASK to be born with a uterus? Hmmm? NO. I don't think I did. So back up off me, mmmkay?

I guess I'm posting now because I want you (yes, I just addressed you, the reader. Hi! I'm Jem. I'm normally fun and funny and awesome, but not so much right now. Pleased (I'm lying--but only because I'm in a bad mood--I swear!) to meet you!) to understand that this is not all happiness and puppies and sunshine and hugs and rainbows. Everyone who has had this surgery struggles sometimes. Sure, the physical changes can be awesome, but they don't seem awesome every second of every day, ya get what I'm saying?

I was going to try to end this on a positive note, but seriously, I'm not feeling it right now. So :P Later, ya'll.

I am really going to China! And I found out I'll be spending a few days in South Korea too! I am so excited!! It'll be about a two week business trip, so I won't get to see all the sights, but I won't have to pay for the hotels and airfare, either! I just found out it's about a SIXTEEN hour flight from DC to Beijing. Ugh! I have always hated long flights, mostly because I am SO uncomfortable for SO LONG. I know I still have a ways to go before there is tons of wiggle room in an airplane seat, but I know that this flight is going to be way more comfortable now that it would have been 70+ pounds ago!

One thing I am nervous about is eating. I've never been to China before and everyone (including another post-op I know whose gone recently) has been warning me that the food is terrible over there. This weekend, I stocked up on protein bars--enough for two each day--just in case I can't eat anything. I also bought some instant regular oatmeal and I'm going to try and pack my unflavored Unjury protein to mix with it--although I'm a bit nervous about packing ziplock baggies of white powder in my suitcase. I've been debating packing the whole freaking 5 lb container, just so it looks more legit. I'm nervous about the food agreeing with me--especially when high sugar for sure makes me vomit--I can just see me having to high tail it out of some important meeting because I ate "sugar rice" or some such Chinese delicacy and now have to puke. I also want to be a good guest and not offend anyone's meal or cooking by refusing it. Fortunately, I have a few days in China with one of my company's employee's who is stationed there, so I'll have a few days to trouble shoot this before all the craziness starts (I hope).

In other news, my highly annoying pattern of losing a pound a day for several days, followed by a several day plateau has been consistent. I lost a pound today after being stuck at the same weight for the last 5 days. I know I shouldn't complain because this is nothing compared to what others are going through (plateau wise), but it is so irritating because these pound a day days get me so hyped up and then it's like 3-7 days of "failure". And, I am so dang impatient to loose the weight. I know my goal is 165, but I really, really just want to be moving into another size range now. I've been hovering at size 22 for FOREVER it seems like. My closet has had size ranges from 20-30 in it, and I want to be moving into the range where NOTHING I own fits, because then I'll really, really, really feel like this surgery did something that I could never have done on my own (I say this partly tongue in cheek because I have NEVER lost 70+ pounds in one stretch before. Ever. So, already this surgery has been excellent).

The lowest I've ever weighed since middle school is 238ish, which I weighed at the tail-end of a year's worth of Weight Watchers in 1999. I am only 16 pounds away from that, which is amazing! Even now, looking through old photos of myself, I can see that my face now is smaller than it is in almost all of those old pictures. :)

My best friend from law school got engaged last month and is planning a 2007 wedding--finally a wedding I can look forward to! I know that by then I will have lost the bulk (if not all) of my excess weight and will be able to wear a regular bridesmaid dress like a regular old bridesmaid! Maybe I will even be planning my OWN wedding then--(hint, hint, Mr. Right--anytime now!).

And finally, my hair. Good god, MUST it continue to fall out? I have really thin hair to begin with and now the top part of my scalp is half nekkid! I have been getting my protein in (although the Dr. said i should try upping it to 80-100g/day, which I haven't been getting) and I've been taking my biotin and still it keeps coming out. I keep threatening to shave my head, but my hair just isn't listening! I even went out and bought a wig the other day (although it looks too fake on for me to consider wearing it for real). Sadly, I've looked ahead to the 6 month post op boards and they are finally getting their hair loss under control. Two more months of this--AHH! This, by the way, is what "no hair" looks like--in case you are wondering.

Feel free to freak out with me!