The one in which I avoid spending $500 in order to spend $6,000.
So, I'm not getting that tattoo. (the $500 expense) For now.
Because, after talking to my surgeon and nurse and family and friends, I've decided to get a tummy tuck (the $6,000 expense)! I've got a date already -- November 21st, 2006.
Here's a bit of the backstory on my decision. A plastic surgeon came to our post-op support group meeting a few months back and talked to us about our different plastic surgery options and his recommendations about when we pursue plastic surgery.
At that meeting, I happened to be in the back of the room when one of the senior hospital adminstrators was talking to my surgeon's nurse/office manager about how the hospital fees for plastic surgery are really off-wack, to the point the hospital routinely writes off thousands of dollars for every plastic surgery case that goes through the hospital. In layman's terms, this means the hospital charges too little money to it's plastic surgery patients--get it while it's hot! Instead of the $3-$5k that hospitals routinely charge, my hospital charges $1500 for plastic surgery, which means once you pay the cost of the anesctesngaolist (I'm not even gonna try to spell it right) and the surgeon, the cost of a tummy tuck at my hospital is only $6k!
And, my surgeon will do the tummy tuck instead of a plastic surgeon, which to me is great for several reasons. 1) He's an amazing and talented doctor and has done a bunch of post-op TT's, so I feel very comfortable in his care. 2) He is a very anal-retentive stitcher, which means my *huge* TT scar will be as close to perfect as is possible.
And, well, take a look at the results. (Click if you wanna, but be warned, there is nekkid flesh involved, and it ain't all pretty). This is a patient of a different surgeon who was 5'8" and 186 lbs at surgery and had lost 130 pounds. They also show photos of her 9 months later--what a difference!!
So why am I doing it? First, because although I'm young and my skin has bounced back well, it is still quite flappy and floppy. This was never clearer than when I was in Antigua swimming in the ocean and my upper arms and thighs were actually rippling as I swam (which feels so *gross*) and my tummy actually floated above the rest of my body--ew! And, as you can see, it isn't just my tummy I have issues with; if I were given a American Express Black card, I'd go all in --arms, thighs, butt, breasts, tummy, and a little lipo/tightening under my chin as well. But, my tummy* bothers me the most, and for two reasons. 1) I hate the ugly pooch. Every single pair of pants and every single skirt must a)be fitted in such a way to accomodate a double handleful of flubber right at the waist, which means that all the pants and skirts I get that are form-fitting show off this lovely bump of flesh. Which isn't at all lovely. 2) I hate the lack of belly button. I have an upper fold of extra skin that isn't all that large, but does two majorly sucky things. A) it completely hides my belly button, turning it from an cute little button to a large, stupid looking crevasse (see the before pictures here if you don't believe me. After losing 145+ pounds, I deserve a cute button-shaped belly button, ya know? B) That roll of skin completely ruins the line of any form-fitting shirts I wear, making me look fatter than I am. There isn't a lot of fat there, but just a saggy roll of skin that bugs the piss out of me.
When I was still deciding whether or not to go for it, I talked to my friend at length about two issues (have you noticed I ALWAYS have at least TWO things to say on any subject?? I'm obsessed with evenness, I think). Issue #1: What happens after this surgery? Do I just change obsessions from my stomach to my thighs, or arms, or butt, or chin, never, ever feeling satisfied about my body and always finding an avenue of self-loathing? and Issue #2: What happens when I do have kids and I get saggy mommy tummy? Am I wasting $6k now on some short-term "solution"?
For issue #1, I cannot obviously really know how I'll feel after surgery about the rest of my body...I mean I certainly spend a bit of time now trying to minimize the thigh and arm flab. But, I truly am not as bothered by those other issues as I am about my tummy. I mean, as we speak, I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt. I know my arms don't look fabulous in them, but it doesn't prevent me from wearing the shirt, Whereas I constantly look to hide the rolls in my tummy in all my clothing purchases.
So, even if I decide to get more plastic surgery later, I think the TT is well-spent money on fixing a big body-image issue I have. I'll just have to watch out so I don't get so obsessed with having a "perfect" look that I stop seeing the good things about myself and my body.
For issue #2, my friend did the best job of summing it up for me. She said, so what if you have kids and end up with mommy belly? Then you'll be the normal sized girl with a little mommy belly, instead of the former-fat girl with the saggy, floppy belly and mommy belly issues combined. Put it that way, and I can't see how I can pass up the surgery, especially if I'm going to have kids, because who wants to add mommy belly issues on top of saggy flabby belly issues? It's more than I can handle pyschologically, I'm sure!!! :)
So, in a little over two months, I'm going under the knife again. Of course I'm a little nervous (and even more so knowing how much money out of pocket I'm spending). My doctor thinks he'll cut somewhere between 5-8 lbs of loose skin away when he does the surgery. Oh, and I don't think I explained this, but the nurse told me that they'd probably end up stretching my skin even a bit in the back, so I'd want to hold off on getting any lovely tattoos until after surgery.
The doc says I'll need about 4 weeks off work, but I plan on being off for two weeks, and then taking additional time off under advisement. (Since I spend a lot of time just sitting at my desk, I feel like I can either work on my laptop from home or come in to work for a bit once I'm able to sit and move around a bit on my own).
So, in the meantime, I really, really want to re-energize myself to begin losing again. I've done a good job of maintaining my 145 lb weight loss for the past several months, but I want the TT to be the icing on the cake, not another 20 lbs until the end of the race, you know? I know it's ridiculous to think I'll lose 20 lbs in the next two months, but I know that I can make a big dent in that number if I put my mind to it.
Which, is why I'm restarting fit club. Well, Fit Club 2.0! It'll be bigger and better, and most of all, it'll really motivate me to keep my eyes on the prize and keep losing!
Ok, time to publish this one and save the rest of my thoughts for yet ANOTHER post. :)
*Dad, close your eyes. Seriously. You don't need to read this. Ok, but I warned you. Gosh, you are too nosy! :)
My boobs also bother me a lot as well, especially because since I've always been overweight, I've NEVER had the perkiness that other girls are blessed with. But, breast surgery may impact my ability to breast feed, and since I haven't had kids yet, I'd like to keep all my options open until I make a decision. Besides, if I do breast feed, I'd probably want my breasts done after that anyway, so might as well save the $$ money now and do it then.
Because, after talking to my surgeon and nurse and family and friends, I've decided to get a tummy tuck (the $6,000 expense)! I've got a date already -- November 21st, 2006.
Here's a bit of the backstory on my decision. A plastic surgeon came to our post-op support group meeting a few months back and talked to us about our different plastic surgery options and his recommendations about when we pursue plastic surgery.
At that meeting, I happened to be in the back of the room when one of the senior hospital adminstrators was talking to my surgeon's nurse/office manager about how the hospital fees for plastic surgery are really off-wack, to the point the hospital routinely writes off thousands of dollars for every plastic surgery case that goes through the hospital. In layman's terms, this means the hospital charges too little money to it's plastic surgery patients--get it while it's hot! Instead of the $3-$5k that hospitals routinely charge, my hospital charges $1500 for plastic surgery, which means once you pay the cost of the anesctesngaolist (I'm not even gonna try to spell it right) and the surgeon, the cost of a tummy tuck at my hospital is only $6k!
And, my surgeon will do the tummy tuck instead of a plastic surgeon, which to me is great for several reasons. 1) He's an amazing and talented doctor and has done a bunch of post-op TT's, so I feel very comfortable in his care. 2) He is a very anal-retentive stitcher, which means my *huge* TT scar will be as close to perfect as is possible.
And, well, take a look at the results. (Click if you wanna, but be warned, there is nekkid flesh involved, and it ain't all pretty). This is a patient of a different surgeon who was 5'8" and 186 lbs at surgery and had lost 130 pounds. They also show photos of her 9 months later--what a difference!!
So why am I doing it? First, because although I'm young and my skin has bounced back well, it is still quite flappy and floppy. This was never clearer than when I was in Antigua swimming in the ocean and my upper arms and thighs were actually rippling as I swam (which feels so *gross*) and my tummy actually floated above the rest of my body--ew! And, as you can see, it isn't just my tummy I have issues with; if I were given a American Express Black card, I'd go all in --arms, thighs, butt, breasts, tummy, and a little lipo/tightening under my chin as well. But, my tummy* bothers me the most, and for two reasons. 1) I hate the ugly pooch. Every single pair of pants and every single skirt must a)be fitted in such a way to accomodate a double handleful of flubber right at the waist, which means that all the pants and skirts I get that are form-fitting show off this lovely bump of flesh. Which isn't at all lovely. 2) I hate the lack of belly button. I have an upper fold of extra skin that isn't all that large, but does two majorly sucky things. A) it completely hides my belly button, turning it from an cute little button to a large, stupid looking crevasse (see the before pictures here if you don't believe me. After losing 145+ pounds, I deserve a cute button-shaped belly button, ya know? B) That roll of skin completely ruins the line of any form-fitting shirts I wear, making me look fatter than I am. There isn't a lot of fat there, but just a saggy roll of skin that bugs the piss out of me.
When I was still deciding whether or not to go for it, I talked to my friend at length about two issues (have you noticed I ALWAYS have at least TWO things to say on any subject?? I'm obsessed with evenness, I think). Issue #1: What happens after this surgery? Do I just change obsessions from my stomach to my thighs, or arms, or butt, or chin, never, ever feeling satisfied about my body and always finding an avenue of self-loathing? and Issue #2: What happens when I do have kids and I get saggy mommy tummy? Am I wasting $6k now on some short-term "solution"?
For issue #1, I cannot obviously really know how I'll feel after surgery about the rest of my body...I mean I certainly spend a bit of time now trying to minimize the thigh and arm flab. But, I truly am not as bothered by those other issues as I am about my tummy. I mean, as we speak, I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt. I know my arms don't look fabulous in them, but it doesn't prevent me from wearing the shirt, Whereas I constantly look to hide the rolls in my tummy in all my clothing purchases.
So, even if I decide to get more plastic surgery later, I think the TT is well-spent money on fixing a big body-image issue I have. I'll just have to watch out so I don't get so obsessed with having a "perfect" look that I stop seeing the good things about myself and my body.
For issue #2, my friend did the best job of summing it up for me. She said, so what if you have kids and end up with mommy belly? Then you'll be the normal sized girl with a little mommy belly, instead of the former-fat girl with the saggy, floppy belly and mommy belly issues combined. Put it that way, and I can't see how I can pass up the surgery, especially if I'm going to have kids, because who wants to add mommy belly issues on top of saggy flabby belly issues? It's more than I can handle pyschologically, I'm sure!!! :)
So, in a little over two months, I'm going under the knife again. Of course I'm a little nervous (and even more so knowing how much money out of pocket I'm spending). My doctor thinks he'll cut somewhere between 5-8 lbs of loose skin away when he does the surgery. Oh, and I don't think I explained this, but the nurse told me that they'd probably end up stretching my skin even a bit in the back, so I'd want to hold off on getting any lovely tattoos until after surgery.
The doc says I'll need about 4 weeks off work, but I plan on being off for two weeks, and then taking additional time off under advisement. (Since I spend a lot of time just sitting at my desk, I feel like I can either work on my laptop from home or come in to work for a bit once I'm able to sit and move around a bit on my own).
So, in the meantime, I really, really want to re-energize myself to begin losing again. I've done a good job of maintaining my 145 lb weight loss for the past several months, but I want the TT to be the icing on the cake, not another 20 lbs until the end of the race, you know? I know it's ridiculous to think I'll lose 20 lbs in the next two months, but I know that I can make a big dent in that number if I put my mind to it.
Which, is why I'm restarting fit club. Well, Fit Club 2.0! It'll be bigger and better, and most of all, it'll really motivate me to keep my eyes on the prize and keep losing!
Ok, time to publish this one and save the rest of my thoughts for yet ANOTHER post. :)
*Dad, close your eyes. Seriously. You don't need to read this. Ok, but I warned you. Gosh, you are too nosy! :)
My boobs also bother me a lot as well, especially because since I've always been overweight, I've NEVER had the perkiness that other girls are blessed with. But, breast surgery may impact my ability to breast feed, and since I haven't had kids yet, I'd like to keep all my options open until I make a decision. Besides, if I do breast feed, I'd probably want my breasts done after that anyway, so might as well save the $$ money now and do it then.
posted by Jaime at
6:03 PM
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