jem IS truly outrageous!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

525,600 Minutes

525,600 Minutes
How do you measure a year?

In inches?
In pounds?
In sizes?
In energy?
In happiness?


I year ago today, I was a whole different person. The old me couldn't walk more than a few steps without breathing heavily. The old me couldn't reach her rear end to wipe without crazy contortions. The old me avoided social situations out of shame. The old me hated the old me.

The new me finds it hard to believe that the old me even existed. Did I really have *trouble* fitting into those jeans? Did I really take the bus every day to work when it is such an enjoyable 1.5 mile walk? Did I really pretend to buckle my seatbelt on airplanes to avoid having to ask for the seatbelt extension?

525,600 minutes.
140 pounds gone.
Over 70 inches lost.
From a size 28/30 to a 14/16.

Some of the things I can just DO today:
* sit in a booth
* ride a bike
* walk without huffing and puffing
* walk/run up stairs with a quick recovery
* run. RUN!
* fit in an airplane seat and sinch the seatbelt.
* Have room in a theatre/stadium seat.
* Wipe. :)

This has been an amazing year--I feel like I've grown so much emotionally while I've shrunk physically. And let's be honest, this isn't easy. I didn't have any co-morbidities going in and I didn't have any surgical complications. But it takes a LOT of mental stamina to stick to your Doctor's eating plan. It takes a lot of personal conviction to fight the demons that caused you to turn to food as comfort or control in the first place. It's a daily struggle and somedays are better than others.

But, would I trade any bad day or emotional breakdown if it meant I had to go back to where I was one year ago--177 pounds overweight and gaining? NEVER. EVER. EVER. I've done a lot of amazing things in my life, but this has to be by far the BEST THING I've EVER DONE for MYSELF.

I'm not yet to my goal--I want to lose 23-37 more pounds. What is amazing though, is that for the first time in my whole life, I can see the finish line in my weight loss journey. In marathon terms, I'm 21 miles into the race, with just 5 more miles to go. When I was looking at the weight I had to lose from the starting line of this marathon, the task seemed insurmountable. I'd gone 5 miles before, but never further, and I always ended up farther away from the starting line the next time. This surgery gave me the opportunity to speed through those 21 miles. The last 5 miles--I've done those 5 miles over and over again and I KNOW I can do them this time, especially since they are the 5 miles that will take me to the finish line, instead of the first 5 miles into the weight loss marathon. (And how apropos that I am training for an actual marathon now!)

525,600 minutes.
How does that look?
old fav shirt
big shirt

big pants

batmanbelt2

almost dimple 2

surgiversary 016


525,600 Minutes
This has definitely been a year for love.
Love of myself.
Love for my body.
Love for life!

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