You had no idea what you unleashed when you begged me to start blogging again, did you?

Ha!

Who knew I had enough pent-up blogging stories for approximately 27,000 posts in one day? But here I am. And here you are, my phantom audience, reading away. You know, feel FREE to comment on any/all of these posts. I know there are plenty o' lurkers out there...so drop me a quick note of hello. Or ask me a question--that's one sure way to keep me blogging!

Anywho, my final (I think) post for today is a bit of a "State of the Surgery" Update.
It's been almost 16 months since I had surgery, and here's how I feel.

I'm normal (actually, I was going to say I'm "back to normal", but I wasn't ever normal before, so I'm just plain normal now). What does this mean? I'm not eating teeny-tiny portions, I'm not obsessed on a minute-to-minute basis about food and my bodies reaction to it. I'm normal.

Eating-wise, I eat smaller portions than I used to, especially of meat proteins, but other than that, I eat pretty "normally" as well. I don't have to avoid any certain types of proteins, carbs, fruits, or veggies. And, I can eat things with sugar or fat in them, at least in moderation (anything more than a bit and I'm guaranteed to spend some time in the near future on the commode, if you get my meaning). Overall, I'd say I make pretty healthy choices, although I do indulge a bit too much in my "ice cream" tooth (SF or LF ice cream bars, like Skinny Cows--delish!) and my snacky tooth (I can't tell if those 100 calorie packs are the most amazing thing ever or just an easier way for me to indulge in "just a few" chips or cookies or what have you).

Clothing-wise, it's been pretty awesome. I was in 28's and 30's at the start of this journey and even last fall, I was wearing 2X clothes. Now, I'm in size M/L/12/14 tops and size L/14/16 bottoms--even pants! I bought a pair of fall pants at teh Gap yesterday in a size 14, which was a new first for me! I know that if I can lose another 10-20 pounds, I'll be solidly in the "regular" clothing stores, as there are plenty of stores that don't carry above size 12 or 14. My ultimate goal would be to be a S/M wearing size 8 clothes (that way I could share some clothing with my very fashion foward best friend!).

Exercise-wise, I've been slacking. I peaked a while back when I was doing fit club 1.0 in february and march and then training for the marathon in the early summer. The heat, the cost of the gym, my increasing work schedule (not that this is anything new, so I shouldn't even mention it here), and my knee injury have all contributed to my utter lack of physical activity. But, having said that, I'm still WAY more active that I used to be...I walk to work every day, I routinely take the stairs instead of the elevator, and am not afraid to move it or shake it--I did a crazy karate chop jump around my classroom last week that I would never have done pre-surgery. (I still looked completely retarded, I'm sure...) I'm still committed to running the Marine Corps Marathon, but I'll probably run the 1/2 marathon course instead. I'm also starting fit club back up (see the last post for more info), which will definitely get my competative juices flowing re: exercise.

Socially, the surgery has made a big difference. While I was never a shrinking violet (just ask my dad), I was always aware of how I presented myself to others and avoided situations where I would not have the (at least mental) upper hand. Now, I think I'm much more confident and more willing to interact with strangers. I've even been on a couple of dates, which is a new and exciting adventure.* Overall, I'm a happier, healthier person than I was before.

Anything else you'd like to know? Now's your chance to ask!**


*I could probably start a whole separate blog about post-op dating, but my Dad is already such a stalker that I think I'll keep all those stories to myself (and, of course, my "real life" friends). But, Papi, I promise, it's no big whoop. I'll tell you if something serious happens on that front, I swear. And, yes, I'm being smart. And aware of the world around me. And, yes, I know you preemptively hate everyone I've ever considered dating. I know you'd like to kick their butts. Just keep reminding yourself that you raised an amazingly intelligent child who is now a GROWN ADULT and can handle herself. (Plus I have some great friends here who have my back). Ok? Love you first and best, Papi.

**No, Dad, you can't ask about the dates. Nope. Not gonna happen. :) But I still love you.

It's Coming...

Are you ready??

Email me back now if you are interested in signing up for Fit Club 2.0.
It's bigger.
It's badder.
It's better.

You WILL get fit.

Join now.
Or prepare to be ridiculed mercilessly for the next two months by people stronger, healthier, and happier than you.

You've been warned.


Although the official rules will be given out to interested parties shortly (and before they sign on the dotted line), you should know the following:
*Initial pay-in will be $25 per person.
*You will need a partner to win prize money, but you can sign up solo and be assigned a partner or sign up solo and participate for the fun (and fit) of it, not for the glory of winning.
*Fit Club is open to all interested DC metro area folks (because of some of the anticipated challenges, I am restricting membership into this fit club geographically--sorry!).

RSVP your interest to Jem at jemwelsh AT gmail.com by Friday, September 22nd.

The one in which I avoid spending $500 in order to spend $6,000.

So, I'm not getting that tattoo. (the $500 expense) For now.

Because, after talking to my surgeon and nurse and family and friends, I've decided to get a tummy tuck (the $6,000 expense)! I've got a date already -- November 21st, 2006.

Here's a bit of the backstory on my decision. A plastic surgeon came to our post-op support group meeting a few months back and talked to us about our different plastic surgery options and his recommendations about when we pursue plastic surgery.

At that meeting, I happened to be in the back of the room when one of the senior hospital adminstrators was talking to my surgeon's nurse/office manager about how the hospital fees for plastic surgery are really off-wack, to the point the hospital routinely writes off thousands of dollars for every plastic surgery case that goes through the hospital. In layman's terms, this means the hospital charges too little money to it's plastic surgery patients--get it while it's hot! Instead of the $3-$5k that hospitals routinely charge, my hospital charges $1500 for plastic surgery, which means once you pay the cost of the anesctesngaolist (I'm not even gonna try to spell it right) and the surgeon, the cost of a tummy tuck at my hospital is only $6k!

And, my surgeon will do the tummy tuck instead of a plastic surgeon, which to me is great for several reasons. 1) He's an amazing and talented doctor and has done a bunch of post-op TT's, so I feel very comfortable in his care. 2) He is a very anal-retentive stitcher, which means my *huge* TT scar will be as close to perfect as is possible.

And, well, take a look at the results. (Click if you wanna, but be warned, there is nekkid flesh involved, and it ain't all pretty). This is a patient of a different surgeon who was 5'8" and 186 lbs at surgery and had lost 130 pounds. They also show photos of her 9 months later--what a difference!!

So why am I doing it? First, because although I'm young and my skin has bounced back well, it is still quite flappy and floppy. This was never clearer than when I was in Antigua swimming in the ocean and my upper arms and thighs were actually rippling as I swam (which feels so *gross*) and my tummy actually floated above the rest of my body--ew! And, as you can see, it isn't just my tummy I have issues with; if I were given a American Express Black card, I'd go all in --arms, thighs, butt, breasts, tummy, and a little lipo/tightening under my chin as well. But, my tummy* bothers me the most, and for two reasons. 1) I hate the ugly pooch. Every single pair of pants and every single skirt must a)be fitted in such a way to accomodate a double handleful of flubber right at the waist, which means that all the pants and skirts I get that are form-fitting show off this lovely bump of flesh. Which isn't at all lovely. 2) I hate the lack of belly button. I have an upper fold of extra skin that isn't all that large, but does two majorly sucky things. A) it completely hides my belly button, turning it from an cute little button to a large, stupid looking crevasse (see the before pictures here if you don't believe me. After losing 145+ pounds, I deserve a cute button-shaped belly button, ya know? B) That roll of skin completely ruins the line of any form-fitting shirts I wear, making me look fatter than I am. There isn't a lot of fat there, but just a saggy roll of skin that bugs the piss out of me.

When I was still deciding whether or not to go for it, I talked to my friend at length about two issues (have you noticed I ALWAYS have at least TWO things to say on any subject?? I'm obsessed with evenness, I think). Issue #1: What happens after this surgery? Do I just change obsessions from my stomach to my thighs, or arms, or butt, or chin, never, ever feeling satisfied about my body and always finding an avenue of self-loathing? and Issue #2: What happens when I do have kids and I get saggy mommy tummy? Am I wasting $6k now on some short-term "solution"?

For issue #1, I cannot obviously really know how I'll feel after surgery about the rest of my body...I mean I certainly spend a bit of time now trying to minimize the thigh and arm flab. But, I truly am not as bothered by those other issues as I am about my tummy. I mean, as we speak, I'm wearing a sleeveless shirt. I know my arms don't look fabulous in them, but it doesn't prevent me from wearing the shirt, Whereas I constantly look to hide the rolls in my tummy in all my clothing purchases.
So, even if I decide to get more plastic surgery later, I think the TT is well-spent money on fixing a big body-image issue I have. I'll just have to watch out so I don't get so obsessed with having a "perfect" look that I stop seeing the good things about myself and my body.

For issue #2, my friend did the best job of summing it up for me. She said, so what if you have kids and end up with mommy belly? Then you'll be the normal sized girl with a little mommy belly, instead of the former-fat girl with the saggy, floppy belly and mommy belly issues combined. Put it that way, and I can't see how I can pass up the surgery, especially if I'm going to have kids, because who wants to add mommy belly issues on top of saggy flabby belly issues? It's more than I can handle pyschologically, I'm sure!!! :)

So, in a little over two months, I'm going under the knife again. Of course I'm a little nervous (and even more so knowing how much money out of pocket I'm spending). My doctor thinks he'll cut somewhere between 5-8 lbs of loose skin away when he does the surgery. Oh, and I don't think I explained this, but the nurse told me that they'd probably end up stretching my skin even a bit in the back, so I'd want to hold off on getting any lovely tattoos until after surgery.

The doc says I'll need about 4 weeks off work, but I plan on being off for two weeks, and then taking additional time off under advisement. (Since I spend a lot of time just sitting at my desk, I feel like I can either work on my laptop from home or come in to work for a bit once I'm able to sit and move around a bit on my own).

So, in the meantime, I really, really want to re-energize myself to begin losing again. I've done a good job of maintaining my 145 lb weight loss for the past several months, but I want the TT to be the icing on the cake, not another 20 lbs until the end of the race, you know? I know it's ridiculous to think I'll lose 20 lbs in the next two months, but I know that I can make a big dent in that number if I put my mind to it.

Which, is why I'm restarting fit club. Well, Fit Club 2.0! It'll be bigger and better, and most of all, it'll really motivate me to keep my eyes on the prize and keep losing!

Ok, time to publish this one and save the rest of my thoughts for yet ANOTHER post. :)









*Dad, close your eyes. Seriously. You don't need to read this. Ok, but I warned you. Gosh, you are too nosy! :)


My boobs also bother me a lot as well, especially because since I've always been overweight, I've NEVER had the perkiness that other girls are blessed with. But, breast surgery may impact my ability to breast feed, and since I haven't had kids yet, I'd like to keep all my options open until I make a decision. Besides, if I do breast feed, I'd probably want my breasts done after that anyway, so might as well save the $$ money now and do it then.

The one in which I endeavor to get a(nother) tattoo...

So, my original idea for my 30th birthday present to myself (other than having lost close to 150 pounds--which is an amazing present to me every single day) was to get another tattoo. I've wanted this tattoo since I got my first one when I was a young lass of 19, but I never got it. Why? Because I wanted the tattoo on my lower back, but I didn't want to get a tattoo on a fat-rolly back, so I kept waiting until I lost weight.

Although I'm not all the way to goal, I thought my 30th birthday was the perfect time to commemorate my weight loss and reward myself in a very permanent way. So, a few weeks before I turned 30, I went to the tattoo parlor and commissioned one of the tattooists there to create my tattoo.

I even made an appointment to get it done and everything. As you know from my photos below, I ended up spending my birthday in Antigua (btw, it's pronounced Ann-tee-GAH, not Ann-tee-GWAH). But that isn't the reason I didn't get this tattoo....

The real reason? Because my back still isn't ready for permanent artwork to be laid on it. Why, you ask? Dun-dun-dun...Wait for the NEXT post! (ha! I'm back and I'm already creating suspense!)

Hello Again!

Wow. I had no idea it'd been two months since I last posted. Whoops. Sorry about that!

On the scale front, not much has changed in the last two months. I've had a low of 182 and a high of 190, but I hover around 184-185 most days. Because I'd still like to get down to 165, a 'normal' BMI for my height, I've got at least 20 pounds to go. (As you can see from my sidebar, I'd really like to get down to 150, which means I have 35 pounds to go).

And, before I get all blathery about my updates, let me give the quick update on my dad. He had surgery the end of February, so he's been out about 7 months and is down 115 pounds!! He's about 10 pounds from his goal weight, which is AWESOME. I'm so happy/jealous of him!

On the left, is my dad at my bro's rehearsal dinner two years ago. On the right is dad on father's day this year.
WOWZA! :)

And, just for fun, this is me and my papi.

As you can see, we both have issues keeping our eyes open for the photographer. :)


Speaking of photos, here's a few more for you.

This is me, my bro, and my sis-in-law when they came to visit me during Labor Day. It's funny, because me and my brother have NEVER looked like siblings, but when he was here, so many people who met him commented on how much we looked alike (especially the eyes and mouth, they said). I think it's a bit surreal because he's always been the hunky one in the family (not that I'm *hunky*, because that's strictly a guy term, but you know what I mean).


Me on my big 3-0 birthday...my best friend bought me "Dirty 30" pills. Doesn't she know I take enough vitamins already? :)


Directly after my birthday (literally, three hours after I left the restaurant where my friends and I went to celebrate), I flew to Antigua for five days of relaxation in the sun. My friend Hannah and I did NOTHING but read books and lay on the beach for five days straight. It was *awesome.*

And, apropos to nothing, here's a funny picture of my cat:

His name is Bantam (which is an anagram of my fav. superhero...) and he loves climbing and exploring. I caught him trying to "lounge" in this teeny tiny shelf in the cabinet above my toilet. But, isn't he cute?? :)

I have more news to tell, but just for fun, I'm gonna split it up into more than one post. Check back soon, because I'm back! :)