I'm going through another little bit of stagnation this past couple of weeks. Since I got back from China, I've only lost 2 pounds. Tomorrow is my five month anniversary and I've lost 87.5 pounds. Which is fan-fricking-tastic, believe me. But, because I'm trying to hit the century club mark by Halloween, I had hoped that the weight would be coming off quicker than this now. I have 22 days left to lose 12.5 pounds and meet my goal. I've been out to dinner several times this past week, which I know has contributed to the slow progress.

The biggest problem, I think, is that I haven't been pushing myself. I've haven't been writing in my food diary, I've been exercising at my regular pace instead of pushing myself...all things that need to change if I want the weight keep dropping at a steady pace.

A couple of good things have happened this past week or two, though. First, I've been really proud of my non-exercise related "get up and move" decisions. On Wednesday, for example, I went out to dinner with one of my friends. We scheduled dinner for 8pm so I could hit the gym first and she could finish up at work. I ended up taking a phone call at work that lasted longer than I thought and I knew I wouldn't be able to get to the gym, workout, change, and meet my friend in time. Now the old me would have (happily) skipped the workout and blamed work for the lost workout. Instead, I decided to walk to the restaurant and meet my friend. I figured it was about a mile away (I live in DC, where walking from the office to a local restaurant is possible--I know everyone doesn't have this luxury). It took me about a half hour and because I was wearing dressy flip flops that day, my feet were killing me, but I did it! Yesterday, I looked up the mileage for my walk--and it was TWO miles! Wowza!

Second, I've been a non-dater (see: spinster) for YEARS because I've hated how I looked. I couldn't imagine dating someone who would really like me when I looked, well, you can see the picture below, right? In fact, I'm always astounded when I see fat women who are actively dating or married--and some even with regular-sized men. I mean, who are these women? How do they get those guys? If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, I was from Uranus, with my head firmly up my a$$ when it came to dating.

Last weekend, I signed up for eHarmony. I've signed up before and promptly freaked out and cancelled my membership when they GASP *sent me a match!* I mean, why would they do that??? Are they crazy? This past week, I've had over 20 matches from all over the United States. Nothing has turned into True Love AlwaysTM, but it's been a week. I'm committed to being active on the site--communicating with my matches and seeing where it goes. I'm still a little (read: VERY) nervous about the eventual phone conversations and first dates, but I've got to start somewhere, right?

I'm also FORCING myself not to automatically close matches who I feel are "out of my league." I was talking to a friend (and fellow single) last night and she said I needed to repeat to myself every night that "I am a prize" until I get it into my head that there are plently of guys who would be happy to have a partner like me. I just wish there was some way to add a disclaimer to my profile and say something like, "Get me now while the getting's good, because in a few more months, I am going to be a REAL hottie!!"

In other news, my Curves did a fundraiser for Susan G. Komen foundation where Nordstrom's donated $2 for every Curves member who got a bra fitting from the Nordstrom's bra fitters and $2 for every bra purchased. At my highest weight, I was wearing 48D bras with extenders. Since I've been losing weight, I've worked my way down until my 44C and 42C bras--in fact, a few days before this fitting, I'd just went to Kmart and purchased two cheapy 44C bras.

Did I ever get a shock when the fitter measured me---she said I was a 40DD! This was totally ridiculus on TWO fronts (ha! fronts!) First, I can't even remember wearing such a small band size--I've been a 42+ since high school. A 40? And she said as I lose a few more pounds, I should fit into a 38DD---I don't think I saw 30's bands EVER. Even in a training bra (actually, I just can't remember that far back...). But the other thing, a DD? I mean, I know that I have big boobs, but not DD big. When I think DD, I think about those women who are all boob from neck to waist--it's just boob. To me, A is small, B is medium, C is large, D is extra large, and DD is gargantuan! I just couldn't believe it when the 40DD bra she brought back for me to try on FIT.

I tried to commisserate with all my girlfriends about the DD thing, but they all were like, "Duh. You have big boobs, girl!" Apparantly, they all knew about my DD ta-tas and didn't feel like mentioning this to me. I still don't know how to feel about DD--I'm sorta hoping that the continued weight loss will allow me to be back in my bra-comfort zone--C cups.

Finally, for the neurotic me, a few tickers:

This is my 100 pound ticker--just 12.5 pounds away from -100, which I hope to hit by Halloween.

This is my Onederland ticker--I'm just 40 pounds away from Onederland. My original goal was to hit wonderland by January 1, 2006, but I may have to adjust that to early December (my seven month anniversary is December 5th) if I'm still losing at this rate.

This is my "goal" weight. I picked 165, because it is the top weight for my height in the normal BMI category. I'd like to hit this by my one year anniversary--May 24, 2006. I know going from Onederland to goal is going to be the hardest, but I have a few tricks up my sleeves for that 35 pounds. (Once I hit onederland, I'm going to switch from Curves to a gym and get a few personal training sessions to help me--I think also the increased variety of machines, longer hours, and class offerings will shake up my exercise routine and help kick-start weight loss. My good friend has lost 60 pounds on WW and rejoins every time she starts creeping back up the scale--I may join WW with her as a way to be more methodical about weighing, watching my portions, snacking, and caloric intake).

This is my other "goal" weight. It's just a nice, round number and puts me at 23 BMI. I have now idea if this is even realistic, so I'm not really even trying to get here yet. I will just see where I am at my anniversary, and my 30th birthday in August, and go from there. Mostly, I just want to be healthy, fit, and toned, regardless of the number.