2005 Christmas Photo

Well, today is the big day. The chairman of our company comes into town today and sees me for the first time since last February. He better say something to me about how good I look! :)

I weighed in two days ago at 214--which means I have UNDER 50 pounds to go to my (first) goal! The closer I get to my goal weight, the more I'd like to change my goal to 150! :)

Unlike my pessimism of last week, this week I've really felt good about my weight loss and continuing efforts. I still haven't been getting to the gym, but I've walked EVERY day at least a little bit, a most days I've gotten in a mile or more of walking. Considering my schedule, I'm proud of this!

I've been doing much better on the eating front, and I'm trying to begin anticipating the Christmas food rush by asking my mom and step mom to buy a few items for me to have around their houses. That way, I know there will be GOOD choices for me to make at least at the non-Christmas meals.

I can't believe it's going to be mid-to-late January before my schedule dies down! The big boss is coming in today until the 22nd, I leave the 21st for home until the 30th, which will be a whirlwind of activity, then I come back here for 3 days and leave the 2nd for Turkey for a week, then come back for the start of classes again and two weeks later, the semester is over and all the spring programs start! It's going to be an interesting few weeks, that's for sure!

After about a month long plateau, I'm down 2 pounds. I have been alternately not worrying and freaking out about the plateau, with the bottom line being there has been so much going on during the holidays, increased end-of-year workload, and just generally sliding on good eating/exercising choices, that I didn't really expect to be losing. I've revised my end of year goals to reduce my stress--I would like to lose another 3-8 pounds before the New Year (from 218 to 215-210 llbs), but I'm not even going to stress out if I lose nothing more until January, because it'll be my first post-op Christmas, and certainly the first Christmas in a LONG while that I don't GAIN weight during! :)

For December, I have just promised myself that I would 1) move as much as possible (for example, I haven't been to the gym since a week ago Monday (about 2 weeks)), but just yesterday, I did two 1-mile walks to the metro and back. So instead of labelling myself as "bad" for not going to the gym, I was quite happy that I did 2 miles of walking (especially outside, given the frigid DC temperatures of late). This morning, I did another 15 minute 1-mile walk to the metro. 2) I want to make the best possible choices I can. This means sticking to protein bars, and protein-rich foods and staying away from carbs as much as possible.

In January, I think I'm going to be switching to a regular gym (from Curves), so I have more aerobic/weight-lifting options. I hope the variation in my exercise schedule will help jump-start my 2006 weight loss, because I am NOT going to be content to stop losing now!! I want the rest of this weight off before I turn 30 (August 2006), and I am determined to make it happen!

Back in May when I weighed 100+ pounds more, I envisioned what the holidays would look like after surgery. I imagined me wearing an outfit bought entirely at a "regular" store, waltzing into my family Christmas to the shocked expressions and goggling eyes of my whole big extended family. I was going to be svelte and fabulous! On Wednesday this week, I was telling my best friend that I feel like a bit a failure because although I've lost all this weight, I still have so far to go--55-70 lbs, and am still definitely overweight and chubby and flubbery (especially naked, which is NOT the way my family will see me!). I even confessed that I was unsure that anyone would notice that I'd lost weight because they saw me fat a year ago and will be seeing me fat this year too. And, for the final blow, I still couldn't fit into a size 16, which I consider the largest "regular" size (fitting into an Old Navy size 18 or 20 is cheating, in my twisted mind). Being my best friend, she told me I was on crack! She says it's VERY OBVIOUS that I've lost ONE HUNDRED POUNDS and would I listen to how stupid it sounds that people wouldn't notice I've lost that much weight??!? And, duh, I've been looking cute and fabulous for MONTHS now.

A part of me believed her, but a part of me still feels that way. On Friday, I took my Christmas gift card (from her) and went into the Gap to see if there was anything there I would fit into. 30 minutes later, I came out in this outfit--a size 16 cordoroy skirt and an XL turtleneck sweater.

A complete outfit from a "regular" store!! See how quickly my whining was wiped away? So Awesome!

I think that it will take a lot more positive self talk (and, frankly, more weight loss) to fully dispel the notion that I am just a Fatty McFatterson, but this outfit was definitely a step in the right direction.

I truly hope that my holidays are just as fun and fabulous!

A few comparison photos:

Left May 2005 (327+), Right December 2005 (218)

Left: August 2005 (270), Middle: October 2005 (235), Right: December 2005 (218 same shirt, different jeans)