After about a month long plateau, I'm down 2 pounds. I have been alternately not worrying and freaking out about the plateau, with the bottom line being there has been so much going on during the holidays, increased end-of-year workload, and just generally sliding on good eating/exercising choices, that I didn't really expect to be losing. I've revised my end of year goals to reduce my stress--I would like to lose another 3-8 pounds before the New Year (from 218 to 215-210 llbs), but I'm not even going to stress out if I lose nothing more until January, because it'll be my first post-op Christmas, and certainly the first Christmas in a LONG while that I don't GAIN weight during! :)

For December, I have just promised myself that I would 1) move as much as possible (for example, I haven't been to the gym since a week ago Monday (about 2 weeks)), but just yesterday, I did two 1-mile walks to the metro and back. So instead of labelling myself as "bad" for not going to the gym, I was quite happy that I did 2 miles of walking (especially outside, given the frigid DC temperatures of late). This morning, I did another 15 minute 1-mile walk to the metro. 2) I want to make the best possible choices I can. This means sticking to protein bars, and protein-rich foods and staying away from carbs as much as possible.

In January, I think I'm going to be switching to a regular gym (from Curves), so I have more aerobic/weight-lifting options. I hope the variation in my exercise schedule will help jump-start my 2006 weight loss, because I am NOT going to be content to stop losing now!! I want the rest of this weight off before I turn 30 (August 2006), and I am determined to make it happen!

Back in May when I weighed 100+ pounds more, I envisioned what the holidays would look like after surgery. I imagined me wearing an outfit bought entirely at a "regular" store, waltzing into my family Christmas to the shocked expressions and goggling eyes of my whole big extended family. I was going to be svelte and fabulous! On Wednesday this week, I was telling my best friend that I feel like a bit a failure because although I've lost all this weight, I still have so far to go--55-70 lbs, and am still definitely overweight and chubby and flubbery (especially naked, which is NOT the way my family will see me!). I even confessed that I was unsure that anyone would notice that I'd lost weight because they saw me fat a year ago and will be seeing me fat this year too. And, for the final blow, I still couldn't fit into a size 16, which I consider the largest "regular" size (fitting into an Old Navy size 18 or 20 is cheating, in my twisted mind). Being my best friend, she told me I was on crack! She says it's VERY OBVIOUS that I've lost ONE HUNDRED POUNDS and would I listen to how stupid it sounds that people wouldn't notice I've lost that much weight??!? And, duh, I've been looking cute and fabulous for MONTHS now.

A part of me believed her, but a part of me still feels that way. On Friday, I took my Christmas gift card (from her) and went into the Gap to see if there was anything there I would fit into. 30 minutes later, I came out in this outfit--a size 16 cordoroy skirt and an XL turtleneck sweater.

A complete outfit from a "regular" store!! See how quickly my whining was wiped away? So Awesome!

I think that it will take a lot more positive self talk (and, frankly, more weight loss) to fully dispel the notion that I am just a Fatty McFatterson, but this outfit was definitely a step in the right direction.

I truly hope that my holidays are just as fun and fabulous!

A few comparison photos:

Left May 2005 (327+), Right December 2005 (218)

Left: August 2005 (270), Middle: October 2005 (235), Right: December 2005 (218 same shirt, different jeans)