Ch-Ch-Changes...
"You take the good,
You take the bad,
You take them both and there you have...
the facts of life.
The facts of life."
-Facts of Life Theme Song
Really, I can't remember a time in my adult life where I've been this small. The thing that really gets me, more than the sizes going down, more than the numbers dropping on the scale, more than the compliments I get from friends, family, coworkers, and strangers, is just how NORMAL I feel. It's almost like being undercover...I get more smiles from random people, I have normal interactions with clients and customer service folks, I shop at normal stores, and NOBODY realizes that I am really a Fatty McFatterson lurking in their midst! Now, this is because I'm no longer a Fatty McF, but just a normal looking woman going about her normal life.
Which, honestly, is fantastic. I love it. I feel so much better about myself, and so much healthier and more confident, and pretty, and yay me!
And, But, Here's where she starts getting negative folks--hold on to your hats! I am DEATHLY AFRAID IT IS GOING TO STOP. I mean, two months ago, I weighed 203. Today, I'm hovering between 193-195 (and of course, we all know my scale is kind--because both the gym and my doctor put me at 199-200). I've lost TEN pounds in TWO months?!??! And, I'm not complaining about in the sense that I won't take that kind of weight loss, but realistically, I've got another 40 pounds to go to be in the high end of normal BMI.
For a person who didn't start out morbidly obese, being 40 pounds overweight would be a serious trigger to "get back on the bandwagon" and "make some changes." I mean, plenty of "Success Stories" on WeightWatchers.com have lost LESS than forty pounds to get to their goal. And, and! The stats for bariatric surgery pretty much only "guarantee" a 66-70% loss of excess weight, which I've exceeded already, so I'm not sure how much more help this surgery is going to be in letting me get to my weight goal.
But I am NOT ready to stop losing weight here. Although this is the smallest and healthiest I've ever been, I'm not as healthy as I could be. In this weight loss marathon I'm running, I'm at mile marker 20--6 miles away from the finish line, and I'm tired, and it's hard, and it would be really easy to just plop down on the sidelines and call it a day. I mean, I've lost 134 pounds--that's awesome!! That's fantastic!! But I want to FINISH the marathon. I want to cross the finish line, arms in the air, whooping for joy that I really can make it.
Which is why I think that I need to bring out my "A+" game. In January, I joined a gym and cancelled my Curves membership in order to pump my exercise up a notch. I also started a fitness competition with my friends in order to entice me to go to the gym more frequently and work out.
Now, it's almost April. Three months have passed, and it's time to shake it up again. One thing I'd like to mention here, if I may (and I may, it's my blog!). Changing strategies, trying something new, starting again doesn't mean what you were doing before was a failure. It just means that it wasn't meeting your needs. Curves, for example, is a great gym--I loved it and still love it. The sense of family was great, the staff were awesome, the exercises was easy and fun and I wasn't embarrassed or afraid to go work out. But, after a year of working out there, I just didn't feel challenged anymore--it was a workout I could do in my sleep. And, I think my body was so used to it that it wasn't working as effectively anymore either. The same applies here. When I first signed up for the gym, just getting on the elliptical machines and lifting weights was new and different for my body. Now, I pretty much go in there and do the same few exercises and I think my body is just too used to doing it--I need to shake things up!
Last night, I asked a friend who is a personal trainer (and probably the best personal trainer in our club) to give me some tips on the leg press machine. The time before last night that I used the machine, I did 50 (that's right--five-zero) repetitions at 220 lbs, which was just ridiculous to me--I shouldn't be able to do 50 reps of anything at this point. And, my goal is not to have huge legs (especially since I'd like to see my thighs DECREASE in size, not bulk up!), so I wanted to know how I should use that machine. First, he told me that I couldn't have done 50 reps if I was using the machine correctly. And I said, "Ok, then show me how to do it." Once he corrected my form and had me start pressing the weights, whooo-eeee, kids, WHAT A DIFFERENCE!! He made me do about 20 reps, but my thighs were quivering for the last five and I wasn't sure I'd be able to finish them!!
He asked me, "What is your goal? I mean, why are you at the gym?"
I said, "I want to lose 40 pounds. Well, really, I just want to look like Jennifer Garner on Alias, whatever weight that may be for me--you know, no flab, athletic, toned, healthy body."
He told me that I needed to be sweating from the moment I walked in the gym until moment I left. When I am lifting weights, I should be doing a fast circuit through the machines with no breaks, so even lifting weights, I'm working aerobically. Then he said, "You should also take some of the cardio classes we offer."
I replied, "Oh, I'm scared of those classes."
He shot back, "Oh, and are you scared of losing 40 pounds?"
"Not a bit," I said.
"Well, then, are you paying money to be at this gym? And aren't cardio classes part of what you are paying money for? And don't you want to meet your goal? Then do what it takes to get it done."
And that's when I thought, Wow. I really need to put my money where my mouth is. You see, I've been going back and forth about hiring a personal trainer or not--the trainers before this one were just ok and it is so expensive, so I didn't know if it was worth the money (almost a $100/session) to get a trainer. But I can tell if I had ten weeks with this guy, he'd take my fitness to a whole other level--one that I can't reach on my own. Because you can't push yourself as hard as someone else can make you push yourself--you are always going to give yourself a little less.
It's funny, because just the other day I was counseling one of my students that you HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP. People can't read your minds, so they don't know how you are feeling, but you can't believe that you can get through your whole life just on your own power--you HAVE to rely on the support and encouragement of those around you.
And that's just what I'm going to do. When I get my next paycheck, I'm going to be making a few changes to my current regimen. Starting with a personal trainer, because if someone asked me what I was willing to pay $25 a pound to get rid of the last 40 pounds, I'd come up with the money some way. And investing in a personal trainer is really investing in myself. In my goals. In my health. In my future.
The other thing I'm going to do is start Weight Watchers, for three reasons. First, I know having a more regulated nutrition plan will be hugely helpful in making good food choices all day long. I tend to get into a food rut, and I know I could be eating healthier than I am--I just need to be reminded of it. Second, having the WEEKLY support of a group of men and women who are trying to lose weight is a huge help--I love my monthly support group, and I know having to check in weekly will be fantastic, especially since my friend Jacky is going to join up with me and we can watch each other's weight together! Third, WW also has a pretty comprehensive maintenence program so WHEN (not if, WHEN) I get to my goal weight, I can become a lifetime member and continue going to weekly sessions forever, if I want to. Which is really, really helpful, because I have a lot of life left to live, and I want to be at goal weight when 5, 10, 15, heck 30 and 40 years from now!!
Wow, did I ever ramble my way through this one! Here's to the good and the bad--'cause they are both facts of life! (Facts of Life!). :)
You take the bad,
You take them both and there you have...
the facts of life.
The facts of life."
-Facts of Life Theme Song
Really, I can't remember a time in my adult life where I've been this small. The thing that really gets me, more than the sizes going down, more than the numbers dropping on the scale, more than the compliments I get from friends, family, coworkers, and strangers, is just how NORMAL I feel. It's almost like being undercover...I get more smiles from random people, I have normal interactions with clients and customer service folks, I shop at normal stores, and NOBODY realizes that I am really a Fatty McFatterson lurking in their midst! Now, this is because I'm no longer a Fatty McF, but just a normal looking woman going about her normal life.
Which, honestly, is fantastic. I love it. I feel so much better about myself, and so much healthier and more confident, and pretty, and yay me!
And, But, Here's where she starts getting negative folks--hold on to your hats! I am DEATHLY AFRAID IT IS GOING TO STOP. I mean, two months ago, I weighed 203. Today, I'm hovering between 193-195 (and of course, we all know my scale is kind--because both the gym and my doctor put me at 199-200). I've lost TEN pounds in TWO months?!??! And, I'm not complaining about in the sense that I won't take that kind of weight loss, but realistically, I've got another 40 pounds to go to be in the high end of normal BMI.
For a person who didn't start out morbidly obese, being 40 pounds overweight would be a serious trigger to "get back on the bandwagon" and "make some changes." I mean, plenty of "Success Stories" on WeightWatchers.com have lost LESS than forty pounds to get to their goal. And, and! The stats for bariatric surgery pretty much only "guarantee" a 66-70% loss of excess weight, which I've exceeded already, so I'm not sure how much more help this surgery is going to be in letting me get to my weight goal.
But I am NOT ready to stop losing weight here. Although this is the smallest and healthiest I've ever been, I'm not as healthy as I could be. In this weight loss marathon I'm running, I'm at mile marker 20--6 miles away from the finish line, and I'm tired, and it's hard, and it would be really easy to just plop down on the sidelines and call it a day. I mean, I've lost 134 pounds--that's awesome!! That's fantastic!! But I want to FINISH the marathon. I want to cross the finish line, arms in the air, whooping for joy that I really can make it.
Which is why I think that I need to bring out my "A+" game. In January, I joined a gym and cancelled my Curves membership in order to pump my exercise up a notch. I also started a fitness competition with my friends in order to entice me to go to the gym more frequently and work out.
Now, it's almost April. Three months have passed, and it's time to shake it up again. One thing I'd like to mention here, if I may (and I may, it's my blog!). Changing strategies, trying something new, starting again doesn't mean what you were doing before was a failure. It just means that it wasn't meeting your needs. Curves, for example, is a great gym--I loved it and still love it. The sense of family was great, the staff were awesome, the exercises was easy and fun and I wasn't embarrassed or afraid to go work out. But, after a year of working out there, I just didn't feel challenged anymore--it was a workout I could do in my sleep. And, I think my body was so used to it that it wasn't working as effectively anymore either. The same applies here. When I first signed up for the gym, just getting on the elliptical machines and lifting weights was new and different for my body. Now, I pretty much go in there and do the same few exercises and I think my body is just too used to doing it--I need to shake things up!
Last night, I asked a friend who is a personal trainer (and probably the best personal trainer in our club) to give me some tips on the leg press machine. The time before last night that I used the machine, I did 50 (that's right--five-zero) repetitions at 220 lbs, which was just ridiculous to me--I shouldn't be able to do 50 reps of anything at this point. And, my goal is not to have huge legs (especially since I'd like to see my thighs DECREASE in size, not bulk up!), so I wanted to know how I should use that machine. First, he told me that I couldn't have done 50 reps if I was using the machine correctly. And I said, "Ok, then show me how to do it." Once he corrected my form and had me start pressing the weights, whooo-eeee, kids, WHAT A DIFFERENCE!! He made me do about 20 reps, but my thighs were quivering for the last five and I wasn't sure I'd be able to finish them!!
He asked me, "What is your goal? I mean, why are you at the gym?"
I said, "I want to lose 40 pounds. Well, really, I just want to look like Jennifer Garner on Alias, whatever weight that may be for me--you know, no flab, athletic, toned, healthy body."
He told me that I needed to be sweating from the moment I walked in the gym until moment I left. When I am lifting weights, I should be doing a fast circuit through the machines with no breaks, so even lifting weights, I'm working aerobically. Then he said, "You should also take some of the cardio classes we offer."
I replied, "Oh, I'm scared of those classes."
He shot back, "Oh, and are you scared of losing 40 pounds?"
"Not a bit," I said.
"Well, then, are you paying money to be at this gym? And aren't cardio classes part of what you are paying money for? And don't you want to meet your goal? Then do what it takes to get it done."
And that's when I thought, Wow. I really need to put my money where my mouth is. You see, I've been going back and forth about hiring a personal trainer or not--the trainers before this one were just ok and it is so expensive, so I didn't know if it was worth the money (almost a $100/session) to get a trainer. But I can tell if I had ten weeks with this guy, he'd take my fitness to a whole other level--one that I can't reach on my own. Because you can't push yourself as hard as someone else can make you push yourself--you are always going to give yourself a little less.
It's funny, because just the other day I was counseling one of my students that you HAVE TO ASK FOR HELP. People can't read your minds, so they don't know how you are feeling, but you can't believe that you can get through your whole life just on your own power--you HAVE to rely on the support and encouragement of those around you.
And that's just what I'm going to do. When I get my next paycheck, I'm going to be making a few changes to my current regimen. Starting with a personal trainer, because if someone asked me what I was willing to pay $25 a pound to get rid of the last 40 pounds, I'd come up with the money some way. And investing in a personal trainer is really investing in myself. In my goals. In my health. In my future.
The other thing I'm going to do is start Weight Watchers, for three reasons. First, I know having a more regulated nutrition plan will be hugely helpful in making good food choices all day long. I tend to get into a food rut, and I know I could be eating healthier than I am--I just need to be reminded of it. Second, having the WEEKLY support of a group of men and women who are trying to lose weight is a huge help--I love my monthly support group, and I know having to check in weekly will be fantastic, especially since my friend Jacky is going to join up with me and we can watch each other's weight together! Third, WW also has a pretty comprehensive maintenence program so WHEN (not if, WHEN) I get to my goal weight, I can become a lifetime member and continue going to weekly sessions forever, if I want to. Which is really, really helpful, because I have a lot of life left to live, and I want to be at goal weight when 5, 10, 15, heck 30 and 40 years from now!!
Wow, did I ever ramble my way through this one! Here's to the good and the bad--'cause they are both facts of life! (Facts of Life!). :)
posted by Jaime at
1:52 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home